Childhood Or Something Like It

I was sitting up at KFC before my 6pm shift and Rich came by. Rich is a friend of the managers and known by most of us. He came in and sat with me while he ate, then my manager, Tonya showed up and joined us. We talked of a lot of things. How bad things are in the us job wise, how insane the cops are around here with pulling people over for only going maybe 4 or 5 miles over the speed limit, etc. One thing mentioned was spanking kids and I don't remember how it got brought up, but Tonya mentioned her dad would hit them for no reason. Rich mentioned some bad stuff his mom did to them and then mentioned that he never spanked his kids. His kids came out fine, by the way. It got me remember growing up at dad's place.

I don't remember much of being real little, aside from bits and pieces of Sandy's wedding on the front porch of that trailer in Cortland or the Halloween parties in the garage there. Most of my clearer memories are of bad times. Living in Bloomfield. Doing nothing but yard work and house work. Our who childhood was spent fixing that place up and if we did something wrong, we got the shit beat out of us. I remember Chelle and me having bad grades and so he made us do push ups and when we couldn't, he hit us with his leather belt, the weapon of choice most of the time. Vivid memories of painting the kitchen and dripping paint leading to dad beating me with a broom handle. Left bruises and two welts on my left arm. I remember we had a walk in attic that had no door. So dad got some wood and I had to help him duct tape it on. I wasn't holding it straight enough for him so he started beating me with a full roll of duct tape. I had a large welt on my head due to it. He'd hit us with bare hands, fist... I remember him kicking me into a door. Just kept kicking and stomping on me... I don't even remember what for. I was to embarrassed to have friends over due to his temper. The one time I had a birthday party, he yelled at us for making noise. I couldn't have friends there. Only got worse when Chelle moved out, not that I blame her, but all the shit fell on me. My only escape turned into going to church every Wednesday I could and then my every other weekend at mom's place. I didn't even like church or believe what they preached. I tried to... I just couldn't believe in a kind and loving God when home was so bad. I don't know... I feel I didn't get a childhood or even a normal teenage life. I moved to Warren and made no friends at school, didn't even make friends outside of school until I was ending school. Didn't get to do any after school function. Didn't even get to go to any Proms. I'm making sure my future kids don't have it like I did. They'll be allowed to have fun with friends over, the only work they'll do are typical house chores, and I won't abuse them. I don't plan to even spank. It's doable.